Hockey's Hottest Geeks Set for Playoff Face-off

Tonight's the night. Set your alarms, get out your TV trays, and get ready for Penguins vs. Capitals as Ovechkin and Crosby face-off in the playoffs at last. Game one of the series goes this afternoon at the Verizon Center in Washington, and the hoopla surrounding the match-up of the two super-stars is the biggest news of the play-offs so far.

Who will out-geek who? Who's the hottest hockey phenom? I have a soft spot for Crosby, based on his boy-next-door personality, but my money is on Ovechkin this time. After this goal against the Rangers, how could it not be?



Game Time: May 2, 1:00 PM EST, CBC Hockey Night in Canada

NOT Geeky NOT Hot - Episode 4. Leafs Fans are no Fans at All

As playoff season is upon us, I feel it is appropriate to chime in on the state of hockey in Toronto. Oh, I know, it's been done to death. What's wrong with the Leafs? Why can't they get it together? Leafs fans are a dedicated lot, suffering, standing behind their team through these ever-so-long tough tough times.

As a newcomer to this fair city, I felt it appropriate and necessary to attend a Leafs game to see first hand the ill-fated team. To get a sense of why they consistently lose, why year-after-year the Leafs are shut out of the playoff run. My conclusion: it's not their fault - IT'S THE FANS.

Dedicated? Behind their team? Are you kidding me? This is so far from what I witnessed at the Air Canada Centre on that fated evening. I have been to many a hockey game, in many a city, and I have never seen fans like this. NOT HOT whatsoever. The crowd had no energy, no life, and it seemed to me no interest at all in backing their team, no interest at all in the game.

They did, however, have plenty of time to criticize, heckle, and generally beat up the team and the players. I get being disappointed and frustrated by a less-than-stellar performance. Sometimes the players need to hear the trash talk it's true. But there is a limit to how much bruising a team can take. Leafs fans are MEAN, plain and simple. I hardly spotted a jersey in the crowd, a heard nary a cheer for those moments when the team actually executed a decent play.

With fans like this, the Leafs will never dig themselves out of this deep black hole of losing. Leafs fans listen up - you and only you can change your behaviour. Sadly, you are staying on the NOT GEEKY NOT HOT radar until you change your ways.

NOT Geeky NOT Hot - Episode 3. Billy Bob is a douchebag.

We've all seen it by now...or at least heard about it. Billy Bob Thornton's rude and diva-esque behaviour on Wednesday's episode of "Q". It's true that Jian was instructed not to mention Billy Bob's acting career, but the fact that even a passing mention of said career garnered unprecendented behaviour of the douchebag variety showed how very miserable Mr. Thornton is.

I felt sorry for Thornton's bandmates. How awkward. They should dump the celebrity and get on with their music. My heart also went out to his poor abused publicist. You couldn't pay me enough to cater to the whims of such a spoiled brat. And finally, I gained a new respect for Jian Gomeshi as he plugged on with the interview. My on-the-fence opinion of him has now tipped to the "like" side. After all of the abuse, he even stuck with the plan of having the band play live on the show (it should be noted here that Billy Bob didn't play, as he conveniently forgot to bring his drums). It was almost too polite. What would you have done?

Nickelback Hotness

Nickelback hotness. These two words should never be uttered together. And here I am breaking all the rules. Since the Juno awards last weekend I've been angry. Over the week, what began as simmering annoyance has transformed into all-out, on-the-war-path anger. Who on the Juno committee is voting for these jokers? I know it's not all of you. And who are the fans who have placed them at the top of the heap? They have fans? From my observation there seems to be a collective hatred of all things Nickelback. Bestowing awards upon the hosers from Hanna defies logic. Please, someone stop the insanity.

In truth, I'm writing this post to draw attention to the funniest thing I've read about Nickelback in a long time. Now this is HOT.

Thanks Newsboy.

Hot or Not? - Kurt Cobain

Today is the fifteenth anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide. Nirvana sit near the top of the list as far as my pop culture reference points are concerned. I am of that age. Like many of my generation Nirvana hold a place in my heart that is near and dear, and I'm certain I couldn't have gotten through my 20s without them.

After I saw AJ Schnack's brilliant documentary About a Son, my love grew even deeper. The insight it provided into who Kurt was, and the way the story was delivered, was heart-wrenching. The film hammered home for me how compelling, insightful (and dare I say sensitive) Kurt really was.

I can't turn on the radio today without hearing Nirvana, or something about Kurt. It's good we are remembering. But today, I have to ask, how hot is Kurt really? For all intents and purposes he fits the Hot Geek profile, but does what he did to himself take him out of the running?

NOT Geeky NOT Hot - Episode 2

As much as I wanted to post something positive today, I am sad to report it's just not possible. This week has left me pissed off. And so, I am writing Episode 2 of NOT Geeky NOT Hot. Top three of the week.

1. The Pope. Benedict has proclaimed from on high that condoms are not the solution to fighting the spread of HIV in Africa. And, like a good Pope, he went one step further, adding that not only are they not the solution, they're CONTRIBUTING to the spread of the disease. But, wait, he went even FURTHER to say that the Catholic church is at the forefront of the battle against HIV worldwide. I would encourage everyone to send him a copy of The Wisdom of Whores. Although stuffing the Vatican mailbox with practical knowledge would likely be and exercise in futility.

2. Gary Goodyear. Nothing like Gary Glitter to those who have inquired. And nothing to do with radial tires either. Mr. Goodyear, MP for Cambridge and North Dumfries, and Canada's minister of science. This week, his foot went into his mouth and choked him, as he refused to admit the scientific validity of evolution. And he's our minister of SCIENCE . I can't even do this justice, and so I direct you to the Globe and Mail article, where his words speak volumes on their own. I would like to lock him in a room with Pope Benedict to save us all from having to listen to either of them.

3. And something a little lighter...LG Fashion Week! Lame lame lame. The ass-kissing masses descended on Toronto this week for LG Fashion Week, taking over the streets, the watering holes, and the streetcars. I can appreciate good design. I can appreciate a designer as an artist, and have the greatest respect for what they do (stay tuned for the first Designer Geek post). Some of the runway shows were hot. What I can't appreciate are the hangers-on, the climbers, and the poseurs who are milling about pretending to look good. This type of sycophantic sucking up doesn't only happen at Fashion Week, I know. But it was in my face. Future posts will explore other equally unctuous events.

Word Geek - Post-modern Language and Dirty Talk

I was only 16 when I read Blood and Guts in High School. Attracted to the title and the hand drawn pictures of genitalia, I scooped it up - all the while blushing an twittering and knowing I would have to hide this from my mother. I read it with no idea of context or reason or knowledge of Kathy Acker. No clue of who she was and what she was doing. It didn't matter. I loved the book so much that I became obsessed with Acker's work, reading everything I could get my hands on.

She was brash. She was dirty. Her words were difficult. She wrote about sex, incest, violence, rape. Blood and Guts in High School terrified me. So removed from my sweet suburban life. This woman was the same age as my mother, but not my mother at all. She was tattooed and angry. We had nothing in common.

Kathy Acker was pivotal in my decision to go to art school. When I finally understood more about her, realized her impact and what she was to the art world, I became even more intrigued with this post-modern girl genius. She was a word geek, using her indepth knowledge of classical literature and literary theory as a starting point for her work. Rearranging, reconstructing, slicing and dicing - no one was sacred. Rimbaud, Charles Dickens, Nathaniel Hawthorne all succumbed to Acker's knife.

In Acker's world, nouns were verbs, verbs were adjectives, conventional form thrown out the window to create beautiful, rhythmic prose. Her spoken word was compelling, the meaning of the language getting lost in the sound, like music. She could manipulate words in a way that was fascinating, and only possible from someone who was deeply in love with language.

Kathy Acker was many things - punk rocker, feminist, performance artist, one-time stripper, subversive, and one of the most influential experimental writers of her generation. Sadly, she died of complications from breast cancer in 1997.